Monday, April 30, 2012

The Same Look

So, apparently when you are in the last trimester of pregnancy people think it is funny to tease you that you could go weeks past your due date and that you would at said time be incredibly miserable. (I really don't understand these people...kind of like the people who ask if you are sure you aren't having twins...aka call a pregnant woman fat...but that would be a entire post in itself.) 

Well, as I have mentioned before, I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (GDM) and that makes my pregnancy different than a "normal" pregnancy in various ways. One of the ways is that I will be induced at 39 weeks because that is the safest time for Ryder. 

So here's the scene that has happened a LOT since I found out I had GDM and that it meant I will be induced a week early if Ryder hasn't made his appearance.

Wonderful & Lovely Person (not the description I first picked...but I figure I should be nice) : How long do you have?
Me: 6 weeks and 5 days
WLP: don't know that. You could have 7,8,9 or 10 weeks left! (insert annoyingly gleeful laugh here)
Me: (Through a strained, but polite smile) WEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL...actually I DO know that because I have Gestational Diabetes and have be induced at 39 weeks because it is safest for the baby then.

Then it happens. Each and EVERY stinkin' time. I get the same look.

It is the look of disapproval. It is the look that tells me just how horrible of a person they think I am because I said the "I" word. It is a look that tells me just how awful of a Mommy-to-be they think I am. 

It is the look that infuriates me. 

Now...I know I am hormonal, so I usually try to explain to them very gently that it is best for the baby, so it is what we will do. And 9 out of 10 times they come back with a smug remark about how I am going to have a dreadfully long, drawn out labor that will be excruciatingly painful.

It is at this point that I usually make some excuse to leave or completely change the conversation...because tears are not far off.

You see, there are a lot of things that Ryder is at a higher risk for because I have GDM. I can help decrease these risks by going on a crazy, mad strict diet and watching my sugar and carbs like a hawk to see if and/or when I will need to go on insulin (the disease becomes more aggressive as the pregnancy progresses). I know that LOTS of women have GDM and go on to have perfectly healthy babies and believe me...I pray for that each and every night. 

But there is also the scary side of it. The one thing that I cannot get out of my mind and have to MAKE myself not concentrate on...the increased risk of my son being stillborn. I don't know the statistics on it, but I DO know that it is not common and that I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep that risk as low as possible. 

But just hearing the word is every Mommy-to-be's nightmare...SO dear Wonderful & Lovely Person, just know that I value my doctor's opinion on how to get my son here safely over your insulting looks and words...and you might think twice before being like that to a 8 month preggo who is hormonal anyway. :)

AND in approximately 45 days or less (good labor or bad labor, naturally started or induced) our son will be here. I will cherish each and every one of those days as I feel Ryder wiggle and squiggle around inside me and look forward to meeting him! :)

And oh yea...I SO want one of these for Ryder...or maybe 3. :) Love this! (The link is not affiliated...I just thought it was pretty awesome! haha)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Weird One...

So I'm the weird one. 

Not a big surprise to most. ;)

I am surrounded by pregnant women...and have been my entire pregnancy. Seriously, I just jotted down a quick list of my friends and acquaintances that have had babies or are pregnant so far during my 32 weeks of less than 5 minutes, I came up with 20...NOT including me. We have all had a wide range of experiences...I know everyone is different. But I still feel like the weird one. 

I am 32 weeks today...and due to the explanation below, we only have 7 weeks or less left of our pregnancy. 

I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes for about a month now. I am lucky in that I am able to control my glucose levels very well thus far with just a major diet change. But even with control of my numbers and minimizing the risks, there are still risks. My doctor has recommended that we induce at 39 weeks because that is the safest time for our little guy to make his appearance (if he hasn't already decided to do so) with the risks that are associated with gestational diabetes. Like anyone else, I would PREFER to not be induced, BUT what I prefer doesn't mean a hoot to me at this point. The MOST important thing that eclipses ANYTHING I want, feel, that HE is safe and sound. So...we only have 7 weeks or less left of our pregnancy.

And here comes in the weird part. Since finding out there is a definite deadline (for lack of a better word) for our the start of labor...I have this bittersweet feeling. Weird right? 

Most women I know would be ecstatic to know they are getting induced a week early. Most of the women I know would be SO happy to know that they aren't going to go over and they get to meet their little one face to face a week early. Most of the women I know that are pregnant are BEGGING their doctors as they hit full term (and maybe my tune will change) to induce them and just get the kid out. 

For me, I am torn. I cannot wait to meet him! I am SO excited to bring him home and take him in his nursery for the first time. And to just have the three of us in our home with him in our arms for the first time. I am SO excited! I picture it, I dream about it, I day dream about it...I am distracted constantly. 

BUT our pregnancy has went WAY too fast! 

How can it be that he will be here in SEVEN weeks...a mere FORTY NINE days or less?! 

Our Little Guy at 20 weeks

I LOVE feeling him move inside of me. I LOVE having him with me no matter where I am. I LOVE the flutters, the wiggles, the kicks, the hiccups (which I FINALLY felt for the first time today!), the stretches...I love it. I cherish it. I FINALLY get Luke 2:19 to the fullest "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." I am constantly struck with this feeling of awe and gratitude that our baby boy is growing inside me. 

And when I think about him being in my ARMS?! My mind seriously can't take it all in! I know that sounds silly. I KNOW that he is our baby that will be here all so soon. I KNOW that there is more to him than just the movements I feel inside, but when I think about my dream of being a Mommy coming to fulfillment with him in my arms, my mind just goes on overload and POOF! Done thinking. 


My mind just can't grasp it. It's insane. 

I figure it will finally be able to grasp it when he is laying on my chest for the first time. Maybe. At least I hope so...BUT I am "the weird one" no promises. 

So, Ryder Clark James, I hope you don't mind that your Mommy is the weird one and hope you know that your Mommy and Daddy love you so very much and can't wait to meet you (even if your Mommy is selfish and likes having your all to herself right now :)). We love you baby boy!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: I'm Pregnant, and I Know It!

29 Weeks as of 4.5.12
And if you need a good laugh today...check out this video. I have no idea who this girl is, but I LOVE it! :)
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